If you’re a vegan, you will know what I’m talking about! Whether you’re at work, in a restaurant, a shop, meeting new people, on holiday, or with your closest friends and family it is likely you get asked funny vegan questions.
You can choose to find these questions frustrating – at first I got bored of having to go through the same set of questions to yet again justify my choice to be a vegan. I’m not better than you, I’m not self-righteous, I just care about animals. Then I realized instead of dreading these questions, I could have fun. I quickly took every golden opportunity to be creative with people, turn the situation on its head and maybe be a bit subversive! When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers!
Here are my top dozen favourite vegan questions I’ve been asked:
1. If you were on a desert island and it was you or the cow, would you eat it?
Who put me and this poor cow on a desert island? There must be other vegans here – so many of us have been shoved on to this mystery dessert island. I guess we’d start a cult with the ghost of Marlon Brando as our leader.
4. Do you eat fish?
Biology lesson number one – fish are animals.
5. Where do you get your protein?
6. What do you eat?
7. Why do you care about animals more than people?
People ask stupid questions, animals don’t.
8. Animals eat each other in the wild – aren’t you going against nature?
Tell me that you tear raw meat from an animal you just killed with your bare hands and then we’ll talk about ‘nature’.
9. Whenever I’m ill or tired – ‘You need some proper food’.
Right, of course, because meat-eaters never get ill, or tired! That’s where I’ve been going wrong!
10. I get why you don’t eat meat, but I can’t understand the issue with dairy and eggs?
You’re a man, aren’t you? You must be, because how else would you fail to understand how unpleasant it would be to be continually pregnant just to have your children repeatedly taken away from you and killed.
11. Surely vegans can’t get fat?
I heard Patrik Baboumian give a perfect answer to this at Vegfest London. He said ‘if you eat too much, you get fat.’
12. Wasn’t Hitler a vegetarian?
Yes, so tread carefully, you might push me into a fit of genocide at any time!
Some other top contenders for vegan questions I get asked are: ‘can you wear deodorant?’, ‘do you take vitamins?’ and ‘do you eat pizza?’.
One thing I have noticed recently though is that I have been asked this standard set of vegan questions less. To me this is more exciting than I can describe… it’s a sign. People are starting to get vegan! I hope so anyway. It feels to me that we are at a pivotal moment where we all know more about this world and each other than ever before. People are starting to understand where food comes from, and more and more animal charities are popping up all the time. Awareness of animal cruelty is coming into the mainstream, it won’t happen over night, and the positive signs are there.
Enough of the serious stuff, what we really want here at TheAllAnimalVegan.com is to find out your answers to these vegan question and any others you’ve been asked – comedic, creative, serious, factual or otherwise, we want you to share. Hopefully by sharing we can all learn from each other on how to best deal with these situations.
Please leave your comments on this blog so everyone can see them!